Jewish Singles= Jewish Matchmaker

Definition of a Jewish Matchmaker

A Jewish Matchmaker working from Jerusalem

match·mak·er – NOUN: One who arranges or tries to arrange marriages, while “matchmaking” is any process of introducing people for the purposes of dating and mating, usually in the context of marriage.

Well, there you have it – clearly defined in black and white. But is the art of matchmaking really all that simple? And if it is, then why isn’t there a matchmaker on every corner in every town? Jewish matching is as much a part of our culture and our history, as say, gefilte fish and chicken soup. But professional Jewish matchmaking is a business… a business of the heart. If my own heart was not in it, successfully finding and matching “true life partners” would be nothing more than words in a best-selling romance novel.

I have been a professional matchmaker for many years. Based in Jerusalem, Israel, I often wonder if it’s my close proximity to God, to the Jewish faith, or that this has been and still is… my true calling. For me, it’s more than a “day job” – I work ’round the clock, poised in front of my computer, matching Jewish hearts and souls from all four corners of the globe. And I cannot help but think my inspiration, conviction and dedication comes from the fact that the view from my office window is that of the Old City of Jerusalem.

Matchmaking has always been and still is quite professionalized, but the role of the Jewish matchmaker has become so commercialized, especially with dating services, the Internet, and online dating websites. Once upon a time, we were thought of as essential advisors who helped in finding the “right” spouses, since matchmakers had connections and a relation of good faith with families who were their clients.

And here I am centuries later – in Jerusalem, the spirit of the Jewish world, and this still remains the foundation and the strength of my business. I am often asked, “How do I choose a matchmaker? Is it based on her successful record, recommendations from friends, number of years in the business?” My answer to this is always… “All of the above!” But in fact, it’s so much more. My colleagues and competitors, as many of them are, promote their services through TV and radio interviews, flashy Internet sites, and the promise of finding your “beshert” in less than 30 days, often with a money-back guarantee.

I am uniquely different, and with that, so is my approach to love, partnership, and marriage. Simply put, while others are investing in marketing and public relations, I work – and I work hard. Making a match is no simple task, and finding a life partner is more than acquainting two people based on looks, likes and dislikes, financial status, or even location. I am committed to my clients as if they were my own family or close friends. My first task, and the most important part of the process, is getting to know them, virtually or face-to-face, and often, I have the pleasure of both. I ask one hundred questions (or more), and I never make an introduction without receiving 100 answers.

I will only work with clients who are, themselves, truly committed to finding a life partner. I don’t only offer a service, I offer advice, counseling, and an open door based on experience and a genuine commitment – so much a part of who I am as a person. So, if you’re ready to find “your life partner” and you’re thinking about consulting a real Jewish matchmaker, choose wisely. Be prepared to open your heart. For once you do, a real Jewish matchmaker will do the same for you.

Sara Malamud

www.worldofsingles.com

Jewish Singles: The Second Date ”Debate”

 

Picture the scene. You got up the nerve to tell your best girlfriend “yes” – that you would gladly meet her second cousin, Max, the one from the engagement party six months ago who thought you were just adorable, but he was on the tail end of a nasty divorce… And now that Max is free, you surrendered your phone number and agreed to meet him for that incredible, but more often than not, awkward… first date.

After a few pleasantries over the phone, you agreed to meet Max at a local café the following evening. Donned in “black” (forever safe for a first date!), you follow the rules, arrive early, and wait at an empty table facing the entrance. Max appears in the distance, somewhat shorter and a somewhat balder than you care to remember. He approaches and gives you a welcoming hug and a smothering kiss on the cheek. The conversation is polite. You ask the proverbial “Twenty Questions” and learn that Max is currently unemployed, living with his mother, still not quite divorced, and as he readily admits, has been banned from leaving the country, the result of overdue child support. And all this in the first fifteen minutes!

The time passes ever so slowly, when in fact you realize that you’re not the least bit attracted to Max. When he caresses your shoulder, you shudder. When he tells you have nice teeth, you wonder if you put enough money in the parking meter. And when asks that daunting question, “Can I see you again?” you quickly ask the waiter for the check!

Many people find it difficult to open up emotionally, especially on a first date. We tend to resort to “safe” dialog, the typical Q&A that revolves around work, education, hobbies, tales of the “x”, our children’s play dates, and if we’re lucky enough, the conversation will lead to something meaningful, like… favorite colors, favorite pets, and “So, who did you vote for?” But more often than not, we spend most of the first date… thinking about the prospects of a second date. Making the leap takes a combination of personal readiness, the right partner, and the right circumstances, but how do we know who is really “worthy” of that second date?

Does the old adage “you never get a second chance to make a first impression” speak volumes? If you have to debate that second date, don’t! Don’t plan that second outfit, don’t reserve that corner table, and don’t invest in that new pair of shoes! And try and remember what you felt when Max, or any of the countless other Maxes made their entrance. If you checked your lipstick only once and if your heart was not a flutter; if you dabbled in would-be conversation from across the table and from across the miles – then surely, you knew. Trust yourself… first – and rely on your basic instincts… second. And don’t debate… that second date.

Sara Malamud

www.worldofsingles.com